For those that enjoy punny language

…Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

… A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

… Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

… Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

… Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

… A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

… A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

… Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

… Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

… Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

… Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

… When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

… A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

… What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

… Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

… In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

… She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

… A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

… If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

… The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

… You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

… Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

… Every calendar’s days are numbered..

… A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.

… A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

… He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

… A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

… Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

… Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..

… Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

… Acupuncture is a jab well done.