Two Aussies

Two Aussies are adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of them finds an old lamp. He rubs it and a genie appears. The genie grants them one wish only.

Without giving it much thought, the lamp finder says, "Turn the ocean into VB Beer!"

Illustration by John Holcroft for the Guardian

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turns into beer. The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two men consider their circumstances.

The second Aussie turns to the first and says, "Nice going, mate! Now we are going to have to pee in the boat.