Sheila

Subject: Sheila Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:38 am

Sheila

kiss

Bruce is driving over Sydney Harbour Bridge one day in his ute when he sees his girlfriend Sheila just about to throw herself off the bridge into the water far below.
Bruce slams on the brakes & shouts "G'day Sheila! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says "G'day Bruce - You got me pregnant & so now I'm gonna kill myself."
Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this and says "Sheila, not only are you a great root, but you're a real sport."

Catholic Lipstick

According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them; and the …