Texas Three-Kick Rule

A big-city, California, lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?"

The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the farmer and agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. But the lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nope, I give up. You can have the duck."

A TRUE STORY FROM...
"THE HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER"

IN HOUSTON, TEXAS MARCH 5th, 2009

Last Thursday night around midnight, a woman from Houston,
Texas was arrested, jailed, and charged with Manslaughter for
shooting a man 6 times in the back as he was running away with
her purse.

The following Monday morning, the woman was called in front
of the Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, and asked to explain her
actions. The woman Replied, "I was standing at the corner Bus
Stop for about 15 minutes, waiting for the bus to take me home
after work. I am a waitress at a local Cafe...I was there alone, so
I had my right hand on my Pistol,that was in my purse, that was
hung over my left shoulder. All of a sudden I was being spun
around, hard to my left. As I caught my balance, I saw a man
running away from me with my purse. I looked down at my right
hand and I saw that my fingers were wrapped tightly around my
pistol. The next thing I remember is saying out loud, 'No way punk!
You're not stealing my Paycheck and tips. 'I raised my right hand,
pointed my pistol at the man running away from me with my purse,
and squeezed the trigger of my pistol 6 times!"

When asked by the Arraignment Judge, "Why did you shoot the
man 6 times?" The woman replied under oath, "Because, when I
pulled the trigger of my pistol the 7th time, it only went click."

The woman was acquitted of all charges.

And, she was back at work at the Cafe, the next day!

Now that's gun control....