AUSSIE JOKES

great now i know why i wake up like a zombie at 4am thks for the answer


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


LIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

haha oh that is so true belle but shouldnt be 4 in the beer not 3 think about it

1 - You can enjoy a beer all month long

2 - Beer stains wash out

3 - You don't have to wine and dine a beer

4 - Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football

5 - When your beer goes flat you toss it out and get another one

6 - Beer is never late

7 - A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer

8 - Hangovers go away

9 - Beer labels come off without a fight

10 - When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer

11 - Beer never has a headache

12 - After you're finished with a beer the bottle is still worth five cents

13 - A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer

14 - If you pour a beer right you'll always get good head

16 - A beer always goes down easy

17 - You can always share a beer with friends

18 - You know you're always the first one to pop a beer

19 - Beer is always wet

20 - Beer doesn't demand equality

21 - You can have a beer in public

22 - A beer doesn't care what time you come home

23 - A frigid beer is a good beer

24 - You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good

25 - If you change beers you don't have to pay maintenance

100% agree great post. And you can put the cap back on and hear nothing too.

Manly ferry services connect the suburb of Manly, New South Wales with Circular Quay by commuter ferry. The services are provided by Sydney Ferries Corporation, an agency of the Government of New South Wales. The route is coloured light blue on the current Sydney Ferries network map. Vessels in the Freshwater class generally operate these services. The Sydney Ferries JetCat was discontinued on 31 December 2008 and replaced with a privately owned service operated by Manly Fast Ferries.[1] In March 2010, the government announced that that Manly Fast Ferries contract had not been renewed and had been replaced by another private operator (Sydney Fast Ferries).[2] The two operators are now competing side by side, with Manly Fast Ferries docking at the nearby Manly Hotel Wharf.


A young woman, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters of Sydney Harbour. As she stood on the edge of the dock, pondering her fate, a young sailor noticed her as he strolled by. "You're not thinking of jumping, are you?" he jokingly asked. "Yes, yes I am." replied the sobbing girl.
Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge, "Look, nothing's worth that. I tell you what, I'm sailing off for Europe tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there. I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night, and I'll look after you if you 'look after' me." The girl, having no better prospects agreed and the sailor snuck her on board that night. For the next 3 weeks the sailor would come to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water and making love to her until dawn. Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship & it's lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled young woman and demanded an explanation. The young woman came clean; "I've stowed away to get to Europe. One of the sailors is helping me out, he set me up in here and brings me food and water every night, and, and.......he's screwing me."
The puzzled captain stared at her for a moment before a small grin cracked
his face and he replied; "He sure is darlin', this is the Manly Ferry!

A Scottsman, a Chinaman, a Pom and an Aussie were in the pub debating whose country was the best.
The Scottsman reckoned his was the best, because we got the greenest grass.
The Pom reckoned his was the best because they had the most beautiful flag.
The Chinaman reckoned his was the best because of their Great Wall.
The Aussie said we're the best, 'cos we got the kangaroo, and that can jump over your great wall, crap on your grass and wipe it's ass with your flag!