One Line Aussie Jokes

AUSTRALIA




What's the difference between Aussies and pigs?
~
Pigs don't turn into Aussies when they drink.



What's the difference between an Australian and a computer?
~
You only have to punch information into a computer once.



Why do birds fly upside down over Australia?
~
It's not worth shitting on.



Why was the Christ child not born in Australia?
~
You'd have a job finding three wise men, much less a virgin!!



What do you call a field full of Australians?
~
A Vacant Lot



What do you call an Aussie who scores well in an IQ test?
~
A cheat.



What do you call an Aussie with half a brain?
~
Gifted.



If Santa Claus, a smart Aussie and a dumb blonde were in a room, and you tossed in a hundred dollar note, who would grab it first?
~
The blonde - the other two don't exist.



How many Aussies does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
~
Ten. One to make the batter, and nine to peel the Smarties.